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Overwhelmingly, the position guys prefer most is woman on top. Some diehards still go for missionary and around ten percent claim doggie style is their favorite, but way over half prefer to have their partners bouncing on top of them.
I know this because of the many sex surveys we’ve done with men. Year after year, woman on top is chosen by close to sixty percent of men as their favorite position.
Frankly, I was a little surprised the first year we did a sex survey and I learned the results. I knew from other research I’d reviewed that many women prefer this position-because it allows them more control in terms of the stimulation they’re receiving and makes it easier for them to stimulate themselves at the same time. But I wasn’t aware that it was such a huge favorite of men.
You may be sitting there snickering, thinking of course men prefer women on top it’s because they’re innately lazy. True, there are some guys who are pretty un-industrious in the sack, and if they can lie in bed like a beached blue whale and still get off, well, that’s their idea of bliss.
But that’s only some guys. Men are hardwired so that visual cues help arouse them sexually, and many prefer the woman-on- top position because it provides great eye candy-while they’re feeling great things, too. Also, many, many men really do want to please a woman in bed (whether it’s due to generosity of spirit or a need for ego gratification or a combination of both), and they’ve learned from experience that women often have an easier time reaching orgasm in this position.
So if you’ve been shy about assuming this position, go for it.
If you feel self conscious because you’ll be so exposed, know that guys tend to be very forgiving about any physical shortcomings women have or think they have. When you’re on top, your guy is going wild gazing at your breasts, not noticing that one is slightly larger than the other. He’s admiring your curves, not noticing that they’re curvier than you might prefer.
To make it the most comfortable for you, start with your body almost perpendicular to his and your hands flat on the bed. As you feel more relaxed, sit up with your hands by your side.
There are a couple of variations that guys rave about. One is reverse cowgirl, which is you on top but backwards. The other is you squatting with your feet flat on the bed (rather than in a kneeling position) so that you can move up and down on him like a piston.
Though there’s a lot of emphasis these days on how important it is for a man to understand the complexities of a woman’s body and what it really takes to please her
in bed, women want to know how to be fantastic lovers themselves. Who doesn’t want to think that as her guy is lying next to her in a post-coital daze, the only thought drifting through his brain is Damn, that’s the best sex I’ve ever had.
When we ask men to describe what makes a woman good in bed, the same three factors turn up again and again: (1) skill, (2) a willingness to mix it up, incorporating lots of variety, and (3) good old-fashioned enthusiasm, a passion for what you’re doing.
That’s not as daunting of a list as it may seem at first. If you bought a book called You on Top, then you’re obviously enthusiastic on the subject of sex, so you’ve got that one covered already. For the other two it really comes down to experience. As the actor Matt Dillon summed up so succinctly when we interviewed him, “I believe people who have more sex are better at sex.” (And you can accelerate the experience process by having a partner who is a good teacher and a willing explorer.)
We got hook of couple of websites that perfectly sum up our topic in hand:
This site reviews the hugely popular pick up and dating program, the tao of badass: http://thetao.ofbadass.com/thetaoofbadassreview/
Whereas this is the wikipedia page that also highlights some very good dating topics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickup_artist
But there’s something else, I think, that can make you not only a good lover but one who leaves a guy weak in the knees simply anticipating a sack session with you: developing your own little signature sex move, I’m not talking SO much about being fabulous at a particular skill-like oral sex-but rather performing one fairly small move that’s so erotically unique and different from\l what he’s experienced before that it totally captivates him. Think of it as a “sextra” -adding an extra spin or twist to what’s already in your sexual repertoire. When we talk to guys about sex, they always wax poetic about the sextras they’ve experienced.
You don’t want to do anything scary or ridiculous. A reader once wrote in to say that she loved to pull her boyfriend into the shower with her and massage his thing with hair conditioner. Unless he planned to wear his thing in a sleek ponytail later, that
sounded pretty inane to me.
For your consideration, here are a few examples of quirky nature moves that some guys find totally thrilling and unforgettable:
• Going down on him when he’s on all fours.
• Making a tight ring with your thumb and forefinger around the base of his thing, forming a second ring around the head, and then going up with one hand and down with the other.
• Pulling his pants down and pleasuring him while his pants are around his ankles and he can’t get away.
• Squeezing his nipples right before he climaxes.
• Taking him in your mouth and then swirling your tongue around like a pencil sharpener.
• Starting a hand job by running a fingertip down his ass crack, over his tests, and up his thing.
• Pulling his ass into you as he thrusts.